So I went on a food run and what did I see? Why a freakishly tall bum with an intense stare which he used in addition to “The Force” (starwars reference…) in order to get me to buy him food.
I walked into the McDonalds at the corner of 3rd and San Carlos in order to get a bun, lettuce, tomato, and NO MEAT sandwich for my girlfriend. As I walk in and head towards the jailhouse guard rail showing you where to get inline for food, this bum is just standing at the end of the line STARING at each person about to order.
At this point I had to hold back the laughter building inside me at the fact that McDonalds management didn’t do or say a thing about this random character at the end of the line. Did I mention he REAKED like poo? Well he did.
The bum doesn’t say much to anyone besides a few grunts but when I walk up, things change. He decides its about time to try and introduce himself. Not a good plan to try and shake my hand when you smell like poo. I declined to shake the poo hand and that just set him off.
The grumble grumble that gurgled from his throat got worse. But I ignored him and ordered my meatless burger. As the next couple approached the register, the bum got intense. He brushed his WHOLE body against the man and pointed at the menu as a sign for this guy to buy him something. Not a good plan if you ask me. A failed attempt once again…
You’d think the little event was over right? NOPE!
The bum and I practically leave at the same time with me in a slight lead. Oh the smell! But then he starts muttering that I should have game him 5 bucks and that I was, “fucked up, man.” He then proceeded to ask me for 5 bucks again. Failed attempt 2.
And then the chase begins… Yes, the chase. Can you believe it? I wasn’t sure if the bum was going to attack me. By no means was I worried I couldn’t defend myself against this potential attacker but I just didn’t want to have to touch him.
The bum then follows me (only at a quick paced walk, but still…) all the way to La Victoria where I go to pick up my previously ordered Carne Asada Super Burrito – no sour cream. And as the usual group of bums below the tattoo shop begin to ask me for cash as I politely and truthfully say, “No, sorry. I don’t have any cash on me,” the bum following yells, “He wouldn’t even give me 5 bucks!”
Do people actually give bums that much money? Maybe a buck here and there but 5 bucks? Anyways, that’s another topic we can cover later…
To end the story, as I walk up the steps to La Victoria, the bum stops at the bottom of the stairs to yell one final attempt query for 5 bucks… “Give my 5 fucking bucks man!”
Failed attempt 3 and the story ends. It sure is a good thing I love me a La Victoria burrito as much as I do. Otherwise I wouldn’t be as eager to walk down there at 10 at night on a Sunday knowing full well the company the San Carlos block between 4th and 3rd keep.